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Faith Inclusion Network has worked to make places of faith welcoming to all people, especially those with special needs

Virginian-Pilot - 3/8/2018

March 08--NORFOLK -- Karen Jackson pulled into the church parking lot and prayed that this day would be different.

The last weekend, Jackson couldn't get her daughter, Samantha, to get out of the family van for the 5 p.m. Mass at Blessed Sacrament Catholic Church. Samantha, 20, is autistic and can't verbalize what she's feeling. Jackson can only smooth her daughter's blond curls and wish she knew.

Samantha wouldn't budge, even when one of her favorite people walked up to the van, smiling. Father Joe, Pastor Joseph Metzger III, asked Samantha if she'd go with him into the church. Samantha shut the door as Mom opened it.

"I don't know what's wrong," Jackson said to the pastor, frustrated.

Father Joe understood. For the past 10 years, Jackson has worked to educate faith communities on understanding how difficult it can be for families with special-needs members to worship.

One of Jackson's sons was participating in a church event the next day.

"Maybe," Jackson said to Father Joe, "tomorrow will be better."

A decade ago, Jackson started the Faith Inclusion Network Hampton Roads out of another frustration, but she had no idea how much her group would grow and how necessary it would be.

FIN on Sunday will have its Gifts of the Heart Gala Celebration -- a fundraising event, dinner and informational night at Congregation Beth El. The evening is to make the public aware of how places of faith can be more welcoming to all, including those who can't read a printed Bible or hear an imam speak, or can't get their wheelchair into a church.

The network now includes dozens of local churches and synagogues who've changed how they present their sermons, made physical changes to their sanctuaries or classes to be more inclusive, or created special programs. Several places have a designated faith inclusion advocates.

Virginia Beach United Methodist Church, for example, offers a "hearing-loop" system that allows people with compatible hearing aids to hear the service through the aid. Portable receivers and headsets are also available.

Rebecca Howell, whose husband, Jack, is the pastor at Trinity Presbyterian Church in Norfolk, has known Jackson for years. Jackson taught music at her children's school, The Williams School, and their families live in the same neighborhood.

Howell got excited when Jackson talked to her about starting the group. Howell had taught special education classes before, and the subject was already a priority for her.

Howell said that as a congregation, they had to think: "How can we make our church more welcoming?"

Howell said she thought their aging church was hopeless when it came to accessibility, but she met people through FIN who offered easy suggestions: Replace bathroom vanities with pedestal sinks so that people with wheelchairs could use them more easily. Shorten some pews so that people in wheelchairs or walkers can sit with the congregation and not have to stick out in an aisle.

Howell modeled respite days for caregivers from a program at a Northern Virginia church. Volunteers at Trinity provide free daycare for special-needs children and their siblings while their parents take a break.

Howell said that FIN's regular workshops and the office and library that Jackson established at Second Presbyterian Church in Norfolk help motivate the advocates.

"Karen has done a wonderful job in reaching out to people all around the country and bringing in speakers," Howell said. "It has opened up a whole world of resources."

Father Joe said he couldn't even spell "autism" until Jackson and her family joined his congregation.

Jackson introduced herself with an explanation. Her daughter, who was about 10 at the time, had autism. The disorder refers to a broad range of conditions that can be characterized by repetitive behaviors and impaired communication and social skills. Samantha could have outbursts during a service or become agitated and restless. The Jackson family had left a church after being frustrated with "the looks," the quiet but charged disapproval others shot their way when Samantha couldn't sit still.

Jackson said it got so bad that she and her husband took turns staying home with Samantha while the other went to church -- until they tried Blessed Sacrament.

"It broke my heart," Father Joe said.

Because he knew so little about autism, he asked Jackson to speak to the congregation after services. They also printed information about autism and gave it to parishioners so that they would understand what was going on if Samantha was having a bad day. The church found a buddy who sat and worked with Samantha during the religious education classes.

Samantha took her first confession and first Communion. Jackson's initiative, "in my mind, made all the difference in the world," Father Joe said.

For Jackson, it was her love for Samantha, her love of her faith, and her knowing that other families like hers were so tired of the whispers and looks.

"I know of families who have been asked to leave," Jackson said. "But I feel like we've made a lot of strides in the past 10 years."

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(c)2018 The Virginian-Pilot (Norfolk, Va.)

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