How Can I Help?

By: National Domestic Violence Hotline- a project of Texas Council on Family Violence

As the Vital Link to Safety for over a million callers whose lives are impacted by domestic violence, the National Domestic Violence Hotline works with corporate partners to provide life-saving information, referral, and support and to raise public awareness about domestic violence.

Imagine, your abuser just left the house or is in the other room taking a nap. You finally have your chance, a free minute alone to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline. You're not certain when the abuser might return or wake up and discover you are trying to find a way out of the abuse. In a situation like this, every minute is critical. When a caller is in crisis every second can be a matter of life or death.

Donate!

Hotline Advocates do their best to provide crisis intervention and help each caller create a safety plan while they also enter information into a database to find out the name and phone number of the closest shelter. It is vital that each call is answered promptly and information is readily accessible from the database.

Considering more than 13,000 callers reach out to the Hotline for help and information each month, timeliness and efficiency are essential. As the demand for Hotline services steadily increases so does the need to ensure that the Hotline is fully staffed and Advocates are able to answer every call.

Adequately staffing the Hotline can be difficult because of tight budget restrictions. There are usually just enough Advocates covering the phones for the number of anticipated calls. However, sometimes the number of calls can soar unexpectedly. For example, the Hotline received an astonishing 1,686 calls in just one day when Queen Latifah promoted the Hotline on her talk show.

As the toll-free number continues to be promoted on television programs, distributed through pamphlets, or by word of mouth, the number of calls continues to rise. In order to keep up with a call volume increase of approximately 30 percent each year, the Hotline needs to expand funding to hire more advocates, update its database and offer staff development.

Continuing to provide high quality services to an ever-increasing number of callers is the highest priority for the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Operating expenses are climbing as call volume increases. We rely on donors to ensure that the Hotline is available for victims of domestic violence around the clock and around the country.

Making a difference in the lives of thousands of survivors and their families - every donation to the Hotline can ensure that the Hotline continues to save lives one call at a time-- is the best reason to give to NDVH. To make a donation to the NDVH, just click on the "Give Button" above. We value your support. Also, see the " Donate a Phone" and " Donate a Car " Programs.

Volunteer!

The Volunteer Program is an integral part of the National Domestic Violence Hotline. The success of the Hotline in meeting the needs of our callers is largely dependent on having a team of caring, compassionate and skilled advocates who share a common goal of working to end domestic violence. We seek volunteers of all backgrounds to join us in this struggle. Volunteers ensure the responsiveness of the National Domestic Violence Hotline to callers by supplementing coverage on the Hotline, in data entry, and in the TCFV offices beyond that provided by the paid staff.

Volunteers benefit by increasing their knowledge of prevention and intervention on such topics as domestic violence, sexual assault and child abuse. These are not only helpful while volunteering, but in everyday life. Not only do they increase their awareness, but also gain a sense of satisfaction knowing they are helping someone work toward a living a life free of violence.

The goal of the Volunteer Program is to ensure that our volunteers are well-trained, receive plenty of support, and feel recognized in exchange for the contribution of their time, energy, and commitment to the Hotline.

How do I Become a Volunteer?

No matter what your skills are, the National Domestic Violence Hotline can use your help. Volunteers come from a variety of backgrounds and include women and men, students, retirees and professionals. Prior experience working with domestic violence is not required. All you need is compassion, commitment and a desire to make a difference.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline is located in Austin, Texas. All Volunteers must be 18 years of age and located in Austin or surrounding areas. However, if you would still like to volunteer to end violence against women, the Hotline can access the phone number to a service provider in your area. For more information, please call the Volunteer Coordinator at (512) 453-8117.

How Can I Help Someone? A Friend or Family Member - who I suspect is being abused?

Friends and Family: What You Can Do

Your support and encouragement can be of tremendous value to a friend involved in an abusive relationship. You can ease the isolation and loss of control by listening, providing information and helping your friend to explore options.

Become Informed

Gather all the information you can about domestic violence. Contact programs and services in your area that assist victims of intimate partner violence and their children. These programs provide options for safety, advocacy, support and other needed information and services.

Sometimes your own feelings about the abuse may make it difficult for you to confront the situation.

Contact your local domestic violence hotline or program and talk with and advocate about your concerns. These programs can be an excellent source of support both for you and your friend.

Lend a sympathetic ear

Letting your friend know you care and are willing to listen may be the best help you can offer. Don't force this issue. Keep your mind open and really listen to what is being said. Never blame the victim for what is happening or underestimate the victims' fear of potential danger. Never repeat what has been told to you to the abuser, unless given permission.

Remember that your friend or family member must make his or her own decisions.

Focus on supporting your friend or family member's right to make his or her own choices.

Give information on community services

When asked for advice on what to do, share the information you have gathered. Let her know she is not alone and there are caring people available. Be aware that not all helping professionals are fully aware of the complex dynamics of intimate partner abuse. If the person is not helpful the victim should be encouraged to find assistance elsewhere.

Focus on strengths

People living in abusive relationships can suffer from both emotional and physical abuse. Give your friend the emotional support needed to know they are a good person. Emphasize their strengths and skills and that everyone deserves to live a life that is free from violence.

Be a Friend

Provide what ever you can: transportation, childcare, financial assistance.

Help develop a safety plan

Encourage your friend to develop a plan to protect herself and her children. Help her think through the steps she should take if your partner becomes abusive again. Make a list of people she can call in an emergency and places she can go.

Suggest that she put together and hide a suitcase of clothing, personal items, money, identification cards, social security cards, birth certifications, bank records and other important documents.

If she decides to leave

If your friend decides to leave a domestic violence shelter may be an option and a safe place to go. However, not all communities have shelters or safe homes. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline to find out where the nearest shelter is located.

Be very careful when offering and providing safety in your home. The most dangerous time for a victim of domestic violence is when a person is leaving an abusive relationship. Know that violence can continue when a person leaves. Be discreet and talk to domestic violence programs staff about the best way to handle this.

When to intervene

It cannot be overemphasized that domestic violence can result in serious physical injury or even death. If you are a neighbor or otherwise know that a battering incident is occurring, call the police immediately. Calling the police does not always mean that an abuse will be put in jail.

Safety Information and Tips For Helping Others

Warning Signs:

What are words and behaviors that precede a violent incident?

What has your partner said or done that makes you feel afraid?

What is it about the way your partner looks that makes you feel afraid

What are you feeling inside?

Does your partner have any weapons?

Self-protective Actions:

What can you do to increase your safety?

Who can you call in an emergency? (Friends, family members, neighbors, law enforcement) What are their telephone numbers?

Where can you go to be safe?

Can you lie or withhold information if you have to in order to protect yourself?