Signs of Domestic Violence
By: Healthwise
Most relationships have difficult times, and almost every couple argues occasionally. However, domestic violence is different than common marital or relationship discord. Domestic violence is a pattern of abuse that a partner—former or current partner, spouse, or boyfriend or girlfriend—uses to control the behavior of another.
Domestic violence often starts with threats, name-calling, and slamming doors or breaking dishes, and escalates to pushing, slapping, and other violent acts. If you are concerned about your relationship, ask yourself the following questions.
- Embarrass or belittle you or put you down?
- Say hurtful things to you?
- Dislike your friends and family and discourage your relationships with others?
- Make all the decisions in the relationship?
- Chastise you after social functions for talking with other people?
- Act jealous of people you talk to?
- Blame you for his or her mistakes?
- Try to make you feel worthless or helpless?
- Forbid or prevent you from working or going to school?
- Keep money, credit cards, and checking account away from you?
- Control access to your medicines or medical devices?
- Threaten to have you deported?
- Throw dishes or other objects?
- Abuse your children or pet when mad at you?
- Push, slap, kick, or otherwise assault you?
- Demand sex, make you perform sexual acts you are not comfortable with, or sexually assault you?
If any of these behaviors are occurring regularly, you need to seek help.
Do you have a friend, coworker, relative, or neighbor whom you think may be in an abusive relationship? Warning signs that may indicate that a person is a victim of domestic abuse include:
- Bruises or injuries that look like they came from choking, punching, or being thrown down. Black eyes, red or purple marks at the neck, and sprained wrists are common injuries sustained in violent relationships. An injury such as bruised arms might suggest that a victim tried to defend herself.
- Attempting to hide bruises with makeup or clothing.
- Making excuses like tripping or being accident-prone or clumsy. Often the seriousness of the injury does not match up with the explanation.
- Having low self-esteem; being extremely apologetic and meek.
- Referring to the partner's temper but not disclosing extent of abuse.
- Having few close friends and being isolated from relatives and coworkers and kept from making friends.
- Having little money available; may not have credit cards or even a car.
- Having a drug or alcohol abuse problem.
- Talking about suicide or attempting suicide.
Encourage this person to talk with a health professional. If the victim is a coworker, encourage him or her to talk to the human resource manager and supervisor. Studies show that such intervention can save lives.