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Developing a Safety Plan


By: Healthwise

A violent relationship puts you and your children at risk for injury and even death. Developing a plan will help provide for your safety and the safety of your children. A good safety plan considers which steps to take if you choose to stay in the relationship or if you choose to leave.

Steps to take if you are in the relationship:

  • Contact a local advocacy group for support, information, and advice on how to stay safe. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE [7233] for the nearest advocacy program. The hotline is available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, in English, Spanish, and other languages. Also, see the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence's Web site at http://www.ncadv.org/resources/state.htm to find the program nearest to you offering shelter and legal support.
  • Make a list of people you can call in an emergency and places you can go. Memorize important numbers. Teach your children how to call for help in an emergency.
  • If you or your children are in danger, leave immediately. Consider telling neighbors about the violence, and ask that they call the police if they hear loud noises coming from the house.
  • Establish a code word or sign that can be used to alert family, friends, teachers or coworkers when to call for help.
  • If an argument occurs, try to protect yourself by giving your partner what he or she wants. Teach your children not to get in the middle of a fight.
  • When an argument occurs, go to a safe room; avoid rooms with no exits such as closets or bathrooms, or a room such as the kitchen with objects that can be used as weapons. Keep your children out of these rooms also.
  • Keep change with you at all times to make emergency phone calls.
  • At work, talk to your supervisor and the human resource manager. Ask that all conversations be kept confidential.

Steps to take when preparing to leave:

  • Contact a local advocacy group on information about how and where to go, what kinds of legal help you can expect, and what other social services are available, or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE [7233].
  • Put together a suitcase with items to take when you leave. This should include duplicate car and house keys, clothing, money or charge cards, and important papers, including Social Security cards and birth certificates for you and your children, your marriage license, leases or deeds in your name or both your and your partner's names, insurance policies, and any photos or police or medical reports that document past incidents of abuse. Hide these items in a place (possibly outside of your house) where they will not be discovered.
  • Open a savings account and obtain a credit card and a telephone credit card if it is possible to do so secretly.
  • Keep change with you at all times for phone calls. Remember that any long-distance calls or calls you have made on a telephone credit card before you leave can show up on statements and point your abuser in your direction.
  • At work, tell your supervisor and the human resource manager about your situation. Discuss scheduling options and other safety precautions to provide for your well-being. Give a recent photo of the abuser to your human resource manager, and if possible, ask to prohibit the abuser's access to your workplace.

You can ask a police officer to be present at your home when you leave or when you need to collect clothing or property from your home.

After you have left, you may have to take extra measures to stay safe. You may file for divorce and face custody issues. Your local advocacy group can help you get in touch with legal and social services in your area.