Help-In-Crisis reaching out to LGBT community

June 01--Help-In-Crisis is labeled as "a domestic violence and sexual assault prevention agency." While many may think HIC serves only battered women, its leadership is on a mission to make sure all who need assistance have access to it.

Laura Kuester became the director of HIC last August, and recently, Carden Crow, founder of TahlEquality, was hired as a domestic violence advocate. The two have become what Crow labels "unlikely allies," and they want the community to know how they are breaking prejudices and working to help the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) population.

"It was unexpected. We are finding allies in the strangest place. It's a relationship I never foresaw. I was nervous about having her as a director," said Crow of Kuester. "I falsely and mistakenly assumed, and it was because of political affiliations. As liberals, we often think there's nothing more we can learn."

Kuester believes assumptions can hurt.

"To ever have peace in this world, we're going to have to have more love. We need to treat each other with love, not judgment and hate," said Kuester. "Don't judge me because of the boxes I check. Judge me by my heart. In my book, it's not about religion or politics; it's about loving people who are different than you. We're taking a stand about violence. We're humans and we all bleed red."

About a month ago, Kuester opened a conversation with Crow about doing sensitivity trainings at HIC, and ways the agency can help LGBTs. Crow travels to speak and help train various groups on sensitivity to interacting with members of the LGBT community. He has spoken to first responders, hospital staff, counselors, and more.

Crow said many in the LGBT community are afraid to report crimes or seek help. Boys and transgenders are worried about being emasculated, and they fear how doctors, police, EMTs and others will treat them.

"We want the LGBT community to know we are here, and if they need help, they can come to us. They won't be judged," said Kuester. "It's the right thing to do -- to serve everyone. We haven't turned anyone away because of gender or sexual orientation."

Other than his job duties of working at the HIC shelter and handling the crisis line log, Crow, a transgender male, hopes to take the sexual assault training and be able to help transgender men and gay men.

Kuester said she is interested in the underserved populations.

"Everyone here in rural Oklahoma is underserved. LGBT are definitely underserved. How can we reach out to the community who are not getting the services they need?" asked Kuester.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention'sNational Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey: 2010 Findings on Victimization by Sexual Orientation, "individuals who self-identify as lesbian, gay, and bisexual have an equal or higher [incidence of] intimate partner violence, sexual violence, and stalking as compared to self-identified heterosexuals."

Kuester said she is getting encouragement from those who help fund and back HIC, and that domestic violence agencies are just starting to look at the LGBT community.

"We're going to be serving victims from the LGBT community. We want to make sure that we are being inclusive," she said. "Violence at any cost is not OK. We all believe everyone deserves to live in a safe environment."

Crow said this was the first time since TahlEquality was formed five years ago that HIC has contacted him.

"It's an amazing evolution of what's happening in the LGBT community. We share a passion to help people," said Crow. "I think they [LGBT] will be really embracing."

He hopes getting the word out about the 24/7 HIC crisis line will free up his phone more. Right now, Crow, a vocal advocate in the community, gets calls every day from people looking for advice or assistance. They may be from LGBT kids who are getting kicked out of their homes, or gay men who have been assaulted. He said he gets a lot of calls from parents, such as moms calling about dads physically abusing gay sons, or mothers who don't know how to handle having a gay child and what their religion says about it.

The National Center for HIV/AIDS, Viral Hepatitis, STD, and TB Prevention states that "LGB youth are at greater risk for depression, suicide, substance use, and sexual behaviors that can place them at increased risk for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. Nearly one-third (29 percent) of LGB youth had attempted suicide at least once in the prior year compared to 6 percent of heterosexual youth."

"Our community is kicked out of our homes early -- either they are run off or they leave. Of course, you're going to get in trouble," said Crow. "The help line is reaching out to them. I think it will save lives."

He said new studies show LGBT children who are raised in loving, affirming homes are 93 percent less likely to have these issues.

Kuester is making plans to attend the National Sexual Assault Conference, and was surprised and pleased that a whole tract will be focused on LGBT issues.

She said Help-In-Crisis will probably set up a booth at the TahlEquality Pride event at the end of June and other upcoming events.

"We are trying to be forward thinking -- how to do better in the future. It's all new to us," said Kuester. "We need to do better at finding out how we can serve all people. We have to be loving, kind, and respectful."

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