After teen's suicide, Pleasanton family advocates for mental health awareness

Dec. 09--PLEASANTON -- The death of 14-year-old Zachary Nimmo is still fresh; the pain in his father's blue eyes is palpable.

But Zachary wouldn't want his family to sit around, in fact, he would yell at them to do something, said his father, Steve Nimmo.

After Zachary took his own life, the Nimmo family suddenly found themselves as advocates for mental health awareness, determined to break the stigma attached to talking about anxiety, depression and other mental health issues in both teens and adults.

"He's going to save lives," Steve Nimmo said.

On Monday, the Nimmo family will help put on a screening of a film that Zachary's parents saw just a couple of days before he died, "Angst: Raising Awareness Around Anxiety."

Zachary had been diagnosed with severe anxiety this past summer, and was receiving help. But the anxiety was debilitating: He began withdrawing from friends, isolating himself. Once a soccer all-star and part of an elite lacrosse team, Zachary quit.

On Oct. 26, 2018, he took his own life.

"His ending should not define him. The anxiety is what took him from us," Steve Nimmo said.

The Nimmos asked for any donations to be made to this film. Soon after, the film's producer, Scilla Andreen, of IndieFlix, thought there was something wrong with the website: The donations came pouring in in honor of Zachary Nimmo. The community ended up raising $13,000.

Andreen had no idea who the Nimmo family was at that point, until a couple days later when she got an email from Steve Nimmo, explaining what had happened. She asked what they wanted to do with the funds, and he said the family was so moved with the film, he wanted everyone to see it.

"They inspire me on a daily basis," Andreen said of the Nimmos.

So on Monday, "Angst" will be shown in Livermore, to a sold-out crowd of 1,000 people at the CrossWinds Church, followed by a panel discussion moderated by Andreen, and featuring mental health professionals, as well as Steve Nimmo and his 17-year-old daughter, Samantha. Then again on Feb. 20, the film will be shown in Pleasanton, at the John Paul II Activity Center, with tickets already available. There are also other free screenings throughout the Bay Area, including in Danville and San Mateo.

Andreen made this film after she lost her good friend to suicide; a friend who had suggested to her that she make a film on mental health awareness. In just one year, Angst has been screened more than 1,000 times, in 20 countries. It's shown not only in schools and communities, but also major corporations as well. It even features the most successful Olympian, Michael Phelps, who talks about his own struggles with anxiety.

The documentary film addresses how anxiety works mentally and chemically in the brain, with interviews with experts, teens and parents. It talks about the brain's "fight or flight" mode that anxiety can cause, that can literally paralyze people's bodies with fear. The anxiety can turn physical, and can demonstrate itself in ways such as chronic abdominal pain.

For Zachary, he suffered from severe headaches and stomach aches. Those in the film talked about the anxiety manifesting itself into forms such as OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) or germaphobia.

Steve Nimmo shared that since his son's death, he too has experienced anxiety.

"It's painful, and it's excruciating to know that he dealt with that on a constant basis. It's horrible to think about," he said.

For the filmmaker, she said she has learned through the many screenings, is that everyone has a touch point in some shape or form. And the stigma, the potential shame factor, is real.

"We need to change it up, and not jump in (as parents) and helicopter. We need to communicate again, and listen, and be there for each other," Andreen said.

Nimmo had a similar sentiment. He said parents need to do a better job at helping kids along.

"We've heard a lot of stories of, 'Oh you need to just buck it up, and get back out there,' " Steve Nimmo said. "You don't buck it up; it doesn't work like that. It's like telling someone with a broken leg to buck it up. It doesn't solve it."

The film not only has suggestions on coping mechanisms for anxiety, but provides hope that you can come through this, Steve Nimmo said.

But the film, is just the first step, he said. The Nimmo family will be starting a foundation in Zachary's name, to keep the conversation going. With a background in business and IT, Nimmo said he hopes to introduce a technology aspect to it, to help with getting the infrastructure needed in place, to provide resources to children.

"I feel like the first step, in actually succeeding in anything you do ... is that your mental health is in a good place," said Samantha, Zachary's older sister.

Samantha is a senior at Amador Valley High School and said she sees the pressures at school to balance a teen's life: schools sports, and a job.

"Whatever path you take, you're going to get there," she said.

She too, echoed her dad's sentiment that "it's OK to get help" and reach out as teens, to others when they notice someone pulling away.

The day he died, Zachary stood up for a friend who was being picked on. That's who he was, and that's how they want him remembered, his family said.

"For me, this allows us to stay close to him. I know he would have wanted us to help others, that's who he was," Nimmo said.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, open 24-hours, can be reached at 1-800-273-8255.

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