Trust must be part of Jupiter family culture

EDITOR'S NOTE:

The following is a guest editorial written by a resident of the Palm Beach North and Jupiter area community.

The current Allstate Insurance commercial airing daily on TV depicts a teenager pleading his case to his parents after he was engaged in a minor fender bender.

For me, this is less about Allstate's accident forgiveness policy and more about a demonstration of effective parenting techniques. Parents, please pay close attention the next time you see it.

The Scene

The parents are sitting up in bed reading as their teenage son enters their room. The boy shows no fear or trepidation.

On the contrary, he states his case eloquently, describing his fender bender in a narrow drive. His tone of voice suggests that it is no big deal. Having done his research, the precocious teen proceeds to flatter his parents for being "so smart."

They are Allstate customers who benefit from an accident forgiveness component in their insurance plan. By extension, he believes he should also be forgiven.

Listen

The parents listen attentively. Their body language is perfect.

Their eyes never leave their son's face. Based on this scene, communication in this family is evident.

He speaks; they listen. All this occurs while each family member remains calm and civil.

The parents in this commercial are role models. Kids learn by what they see, not by what is preached to them. Consistency, which requires collaboration between parents and dedication to good parenting, is a key ingredient to raising responsible children.

Trust

The fact that this teenager had the courage to enter his parent's bedroom and initiate this discussion reveals a connectedness among family members, characterized by trust, confidence and open-mindedness.

Trust must be part of the family culture in a household, where raising life-long learners is the goal.

At the end of the son's explanation, the mother calmly says, "Four weeks without the car." The teen executes a perfect 180 and says, "Okay. Goodnight." They speak; he listens. More importantly, he hears them and accepts his punishment. Communication and connectedness rule.

As Jim Gaffigan, the comedian, said," Most of the time I feel totally unqualified to be a parent. I call those times, being awake."

If you are a parent, you will readily agree. It takes courage to effectively parent a child, especially in the rough seas of 21st century where electronic devices rob our children of their childhood and face to face socializing is passé.

Hold their head up high

I exhort all moms and dads to hold their head up high, walk tall, talk straight, coddle less, model your expectations, allow your child to suffer the consequences of inappropriate behavior, create a family mission statement that establishes a culture of learning in your home and devise a plan, which includes the seven Cs of common sense parenting.

These tenets will help parents navigate the parenting journey.

As an example of the rewards of good parenting, on May 2, the Sons and Daughters of Italy in America/Perry Como Lodge awarded three $1,500 scholarships and two $500 scholarships to local high school seniors.

Four of the five recipients were from Jupiter Community High School and one recipient represented William T. Dwyer High School.

Shelby Russo, Grant Stelmack and Caitlin Gualtieri each received a $1,500 scholarship, and $500 scholarships were awarded to Ashley Goebel and Taylor Ferlita.

James L. Casale, Ph.D.

James L. Casale, Ph.D., is a national award-winning educator. He can be contacted at: jamescasalephd77@gmail.com. His website is: http://www.jamescasalephd.com/.