The foundation of being a father

June 17--ANDERSON -- After six children, 13 grandchildren and more than 20 great-grandchildren, James Warner has lots of advice to give to fathers.

But more than anything else, his first piece is simple. So simple, he included it in the lyrics to a song he recorded with his gospel group, The Heavenly Five.

"Parents, watch what you say and do; you may not believe it, but your children are watching you," Warner sang, adding: "The one, most important thing is: As a father you should be an example for your children."

That's most evident in his work ethic. As a worker for General Motors, Warner missed just 10 days of work in 35 years.

"They seen me, and they know what I did, and they learned that," he said.

It's there in his constant efforts to unite and give back to the community he's always called home as well. They include working with his annual Thanksgiving dinner meal for less well-to-do families; and a parade today which will invite fathers to walk with their children.

"That idea came from my 9-year-old little granddaughter," he said. "She came up with that and it made me feel so proud. I believe she might have learned that from me, or her parents, who I hope I taught as well."

Community is key in his second rule for raising a family, too.

"Another thing to know is: You can't live in this world by yourself. That's very, very important for my children to know, for all children to know," he said.

But many new fathers -- living in a far different time from when Warner was in the '60s, '70s and '80s -- see their roles changing from simply working to be the bread winner, as Warner put it, to being more active in their children's lives.

"My wife Daisy was really around the kids most the time as well, especially as I was doing my radio show on the weekends," he said. "She would make sure they went to church. But things sure have changed."

Fathers today spend more time engaged with their children than ever before, says Ball State sociology professor and researcher Richard Petts.

Petts and two researchers from Brigham Young University utilized a national sample of about 2,000 fathers with children ages 2-18 to understand the relationship between adherence to masculine norms, fathering attitudes, and father involvement.

"The new fatherhood ideal emphasizes the importance of being a nurturing, engaged father and fathers spend more time parenting children than ever before," Petts said. "Yet, despite these changes, the primary expectations by society for fathers are still quite traditional and emphasize providing and lack of emotional expression."

Warren said he's seen this himself as young fathers are working to spend more time raising children in a home and place more emphasis on doing things together.

And Pett's said that helps not just children, but fathers as well.

"We often judge men based on their job title, how much they work, and how much money they make as a society," Petts said. "Yet many men believe that being an active father is more important than being a breadwinner. So, take time to be a dad.

"You will be happier because fathers who are more involved have higher well-being, and your kids will be happier."

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