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Jacksonville mother has 'breathtaking' reunion with children after nonprofit help

Florida Times-Union - 8/13/2018

Aug. 13--Childhood abuse by a family member led Kelly Temple to disappear down a path of substance abuse.

By age 11 she was drinking alcohol and then moved on to drugs. At 31 last year she lost her four children to foster care because of her addictions and an abusive partner. She ended up homeless and at a particularly low point attempted suicide.

Still, Temple couldn't stop using.

"I gave up once my children were taken away," she said. "I was sleeping outside. I started getting really depressed. I didn't feel capable of taking care of children. ... I was afraid for my life."

So she prayed, went to detox and with the help of a post-reunification program billed as the only one of its kind in the state, she learned how to be a successful mother.

Last week Temple reunited with her children, ages, 1, 7, 10 and 11. Eight months sober, she now works at UPS, lives in a three-bedroom home and is looking toward the future. She hopes one day to work with abused children.

"It's breathtaking. I never thought I would get to this point," she said. "Best day of my life, second only to having them [her children]."

They celebrated all the birthdays and holidays they had missed.

"I feel complete. I feel full," she said.

FAMILIES BACK TOGETHER

Temple's day of reckoning came last November when she checked herself into a six-month detox program at Gateway Community Services. After she completed detox in April, she began a program designed to help parents like her build stable home environments long term to prevent children from re-entering the foster care system.

The post-reunification program is run by Daniel, a child-service agency funded by Family Support Services of North Florida, the lead agency for foster care, adoption and family preservation in Duval and Nassau counties.

Daniel's counselors conduct family assessments followed by training in life skills, effective parenting and managing a family budget, among other things. Also, parents learn how to access community resources, including programs for counseling, rehabilitation, child care, education and employment.

The impetus for the program was seeing children having to return to foster care after being reunited with their families. Parents needed more help prior to reunification to prevent that from happening, said Shani Cephas, Daniel's associate director of family preservation.

"It's a support system for transitioning back into the home," she said. "It takes a village. A lot of them have burned a lot of bridges. We help them resume relationships with family members, neighbors. The best part is having them going back home, them knowing 'I can do this' and believing in themselves."

Since its inception in February 2017, 222 parents have been through the program and 69 parents are participating now, she said. The average length of participation is nine months.

"This is by far one of the most rewarding programs in my 30 years here [at Daniel]," said Lesley Wells, CEO of Daniel. "Seeing families put back together is what we do. ... This is what it's all about."

ACCEPTING AND OVERCOMING

In such cases, state law gives parents 12 months to get their acts together. For parents like Temple, that means getting sober and finding a job and housing, all in one year. Wells said she is amazed at how much some parents "have to overcome to start the process of getting their children back."

Temple said she had to "dig deep."

At Gateway she learned how to love herself, accept her mistakes and move on from those mistakes. At Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, she learned to share her troubles and accept support from others. While in detox, she worked two jobs to save enough money to provide a home for her children. Getting them back was the ultimate goal. She visited them twice a week and tried to explain that she was working on herself and they would be together again. She just couldn't say when.

"They were upset," she said. "They were confused, hurt and angry."

Two days after Temple and her children reunited, they were at Daniel for a back-to-school event. They and another reunited family were feted with pizza, cupcakes and cookies and given backpacks and school supplies.

Such ongoing support, Temple said, is an example of how Daniel helps families become strong again.

"I am so grateful," she said. "I feel like I have a family that I never had, that I can call, even if I am just having a bad day. I didn't know how I was going to get school supplies. I didn't know how I was going to get anything."

Beth Reese Cravey: (904) 359-4109

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