He's UNC's DC. He's a father of two, including a son with autism. Meet Jay Bateman.

News & Observer - 12/26/2019

Dec. 26--CHAPEL HILL -- Jay Bateman smiles as his eight-year-old son shows his father his brand new creation. He's holding what looks to be a fish made out of an egg carton.

"It's a tiger shark!" CJ Bateman says, his voice rising with excitement.

"Dude!" Jay says. "Nice! Go show your mom."

CJ scurries across the living room floor to the kitchen in his green alligator slippers. He has dark hair that is neatly combed to the side, freckles on his face, and a missing tooth he recently lost on the bottom row of his gums.

He made the tiger shark in his art class at Morris Grove Elementary in Chapel Hill.

"He's come a long way," said Heather Bateman, CJ's mom and Jay's wife. "He didn't like any of the arts."

These moments are big for the Bateman family, because just three years ago they weren't even sure their son could learn.

When he was five years old, they took him to a doctor because he was behind developmentally. He couldn't talk in complete sentences. He did not know how to interact with others properly.

It didn't take long from the time they walked into the doctor's office to the time the doctor made her diagnosis. CJ had autism.

Jay couldn't believe it. Not his son.

He had dreamed that his son would one day play football. Heather wanted CJ to play quarterback. Jay, now a defensive coordinator for UNC, wanted his son to play defense.

But this diagnosis derailed that dream.

"Your life goes from, 'man he's going to win the Heisman,' to 'I hope he graduates high school.' And 'how hard that is going to be to get him to that spot,'" Bateman said.

Becoming a coach

When Jay Bateman is asked how he became a football coach, he thinks about the influences his parents had on his life.

Bateman grew up in Richmond, Virginia, the oldest of two kids. His father, Jan Bateman, was a biologist and his mother, Dale Bateman (yes, father Jan and mother Dale), was an assistant principal and special education teacher.

Jay Bateman said he watched his father get up every day, excited about his job. And his mother had a love for children that rubbed off on him.

When he was 12-years old, his parents bought him a bunk bed for Christmas. But it wasn't so he could have his friends over. It was an extra bed for the children at his mother's school who didn't have a place to sleep at night.

Jay always loved football. When he was in elementary school, his parents bought him an electric football game with plastic figures. Jay spent hours developing plays and having mock games. He painted the figures to resemble NFL football teams.

"He would absolutely sometimes rather play with his football game than his friends," Dale Bateman said. "He really would get quite intense playing the electric football game."

Jay started playing football in high school. And while he wasn't the most athletic player on the team, he was smart and the coaches could not keep him off the field. He had a knack for getting his teammates in the right position on defense.

"I wasn't even close to the top 15 or 20 athletes at our school," Bateman said. "But in football, being smart and being tough, you could find a way to play. So I learned pretty early on, my ability to learn the defense and understand why we were doing things helped me be a better player."

Bateman became a linebacker at Randolph-Macon College, a small Division III school 30 minutes north of Richmond. After college, he worked for a company that bought and sold paper machinery. But when the owner sold the company, he decided to become a coach.

His first college job was an assistant coach at Hampden-Sydney College in Virginia. It was there that he met his wife, Heather.

"There weren't many single women in Farmville," Jay Bateman said.

"It's a tiny town, and there's mostly college kids," Heather added. "You meet somebody who graduated college, you should probably speak to them."

They hit it off, and in 1999, got married. Nine years later, they had their first child, Bea. CJ was born three years after that.

'A football guru'

When UNC (6-6) plays Temple (8-4) on Friday in the Military Bowl, Bateman will be making the defensive play calls.

Most people who know Bateman, or who play under him, say he loves football. Senior safety Myles Dorn describes him as a "football guru." Senior linebacker, Dominique Ross described him as "a genius," although Bateman doesn't agree with that description.

"To be a genius you have to invent polio vaccines," Bateman says. "Einstein was a genius. I just call a blitz every once in a while."

He views football similarly to how he views chess. He's fascinated by how the movement of one thing affects everything else. And he tries to stay one step ahead of his opponents.

In UNC's narrow 21-20 loss to then No. 1 Clemson earlier this season, the Tar Heels held the Tigers to a season-low 331 yards. The Tar Heels had a chance to win it, but their two-point conversion attempt to take the lead with less than two minutes remaining was a few yards short of the goal line.

When Duke and UNC played earlier this season, the Blue Devils had the ball at the Tar Heels' 2-yard-line with 18 seconds left, and a chance to score the go-ahead touchdown. As soon as Duke came out of their huddle, Bateman recognized the formation. It looked like the same play Duke ran in 2016 against Army when he was defensive coordinator there. So the Tar Heels called a timeout, and Bateman told his team that he felt Duke would throw a 'pop-pass.'

The result was a game-ending interception by Chazz Surratt.

"He remembers everything," UNC senior defensive tackle Aaron Crawford said. "Every single thing. Any look, just like the Duke game when he said he got beat off a pop pass like three years ago from Army, he remembered it and then it came up. It's just unreal. Something that I've never been around."

Heather Bateman said her husband doesn't have hobbies. If anything, watching film is his hobby. On most days, except Thursday's, he leaves for work at 5 a.m. and returns at 11 p.m.

"He's a football coach all the time," she said.

But when CJ was diagnosed with autism, it changed his perspective. He knew he had to spend more time with his son.

"It's definitely humbled him," Heather Bateman said. "I think it's made him realize there's a life outside of football, and I think he needed that reality."

The family spends Thursday's together. On vacations, they like to go to the beach. CJ loves the ocean.

Bateman says one of the biggest reasons he decided to take the job at UNC was because Duke and UNC-Chapel Hill are two of the biggest research institutes in the country.

And he hopes he can continue to improve the quality of life for his son.

A significant step

Heather and Jay Bateman say they had always known their son was different. When he was a baby, he cried all the time. He rarely looked into people's eyes.

He did not know how to play with other children or with toys. "He would just turn things over," Heather Bateman said.

And he struggled with talking.

Autism, also known as "Autism Spectrum Disorder," is a developmental disability that can cause social, behavioral and communication challenges. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, 1 in 59 children has autism. There is no cure, however, early intervention treatment can help a child's development.

It wasn't until he was about six years old when they finally saw their first break through.

One day, during a parent-teacher conference, the teacher told them that CJ had memorized a number of basic reading words like "the," "and," and "but." Prior to that, CJ didn't know how to express himself. If he was hungry, he'd go to the refrigerator and open it. But he couldn't tell his parents what he wanted.

"We were like, 'he did what?'" Bateman said. "It was like they told us, 'well, he built the Eiffel Tower.'"

It was a significant step in his development. It meant that he might one day learn to read and possibly do more.

And he did. When he was six, he got a 100 percent on a spelling test. He was constantly improving. And that meant the world to his parents.

"It was just proof that he could do it," Bateman said. "A year before that, we didn't know if he'd ever go to a real school."

Still making strides

CJ is eight now. He loves dinosaurs, which is common for kids with autism, and he can name more than dinosaurs than the average person could. He has pictures and toys of them all over his room, located on the second floor of their three-story Chapel Hill home.

The biggest challenge, his parents say, is getting teachers and others to understand that he can learn. He just learns differently than others.

But every day, CJ makes strides.

He can speak in sentences. He can express to his mother when he's hungry. He's honest, which can sometimes come off as being blunt.

CJ is initially nervous around others. At a recent visit to the family's home, he says he's scared of strangers.

But after about an hour, he warms up and invites a reporter upstairs after his parents encourage him to show off his therapy room on the third floor.

"OK! Come with me." he says. He races up the stairs. Inside his therapy room is a mini tree house and a punching bag. There's a trampoline, books and a desk.

Three days a week, CJ does "applied behavioral analysis" or A.B.A., a type of behavioral therapy, where he practices his reading and math and learns how to properly interact with others. Earlier this summer, he learned how to tie his shoes. He recently learned his days of the week.

He's also speaking in complete sentences now. He's made vast improvements since the family moved to Chapel Hill last January. When he first started behavioral therapy in Chapel Hill, he could only sit for 10 seconds before getting up and moving around.

Now he's able to focus a lot longer. It has been a process.

"About every six months, you'll see a change," Heather said. "He'll start talking better. The conversations, all of that, started really since we moved."

The Batemans plan to be here for a while.

Change is tough for children with autism, including CJ, his parents say.

For instance, CJ's routine is the same each week. And they try not to change it unless they have to. He gets aggravated when that happens. So he eats the same foods every day. It's either chicken nuggets or cheese pizza (gluten free).

CJ runs into the kitchen.

"What to eat for dinner?" CJ asks.

"What would you like? his mother responds, opening the refrigerator.

CJ responds, "what do you have? What's down there."

"You've got one or two picks. What do you feel like, nuggets or cheese pizza?" Jay asks.

When CJ responds with cheese pizza, his parents remind him he had that last night.

"How about nuggets," Heather says.

"Fine," CJ replies.

Three years ago, Jay Bateman didn't think having a conversation like this was even possible. He doesn't know what CJ's future will look like. He figures CJ probably won't play football.

But when he sees this, he's hopeful.

UNC vs. Temple

What: Military Bowl

When: Friday, Dec. 27

Where: Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium, Annapolis, Maryland

Time: Noon

TV: ESPN

___

Visit The News & Observer (Raleigh, N.C.) at www.newsobserver.com

Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.