Rafael Garcia: OUR NEIGHBORS | For retiring USD 383 autism coordinator, her successes were her students'

Jun. 8--For about 30 years now, Helen Miller has been teaching the previously unteachable and bringing hope to the hopeless.

Miller, now 70 and preparing to retire from the Manhattan-Ogden school district, had switched from a job in K-State's communication science disorders department to working as a preschool speech pathologist school district when her daughter entered first grade in 1990.

Preschoolers are typically easy to work with, with enough patience and understanding, she said. But while she was successful with some of her students, others proved harder to crack. These children had autism, and her usual techniques weren't working. They were inattentive, or just generally unhappy, and Miller didn't know how to win them over.

She knew, though, that she had to do something as desperate parents turned to her for help.

"It becomes personal when you see a child and a family struggling, wanting the best, and they come to you and ask you to please get them to talk and get them to understand what they're saying, and you as a professional are supposed to do that," she said, speaking with the same measured eloquence she's used with hundreds of kids over the years.

So Miller got to thinking. Maybe there was a different way to reach these kids. Maybe there was some new strategy or approach she could take, and she began to intensively study and research whatever she could to reach those kids.

And it worked. So well, in fact, that Miller began to split her time to work with other teacher teams across the district as the autism coordinator in 1999. As the number of students diagnosed with autism began to grow, it was no longer feasible to do both jobs, so Miller took the coordinator job full time a few years later.

She never looked back. In Miller's long career working with Manhattan-Ogden's autistic community, parents have come to know her as a pillar and as "an angel" to them in their time of need. Miller built a library of resources and materials for families of children with autism, currently housed at Eisenhower Middle School, but more importantly, she built a community, said Kristin Brighton, a member of the school board.

Brighton met Helen roughly ten years ago, when her son with autism was in kindergarten. Miller had created a small parent support group, and Brighton had come to the Amanda Arnold Elementary school library in tears right after winter break. She had no idea what she would do for her son in the summer.

But Miller met her, and with her support and guidance, as well as the work of other parents, the group started the Flint Hills Summer Fun Camp, a camp geared for children in the region with autism. Several of the camp's children come to the camp struggling with learning how to swim, but by the time they leave, they're like fish in the water, Miller said.

Other versions of the camp, like a version for non-verbal children, focus more on language-less activities that are still fun for all involved.

"We can make things happen for them, and we can give them a good time, a fun summer," she said.

The camp created an award in her honor, the Helen Miller Autism Advocate Award, because of her support in helping families of children with autism navigate the educational system. In parents' times of need, Miller has never let them feel like they were alone, Brighton said.

"She's a whole department in one person," Brighton said. "She has books she can loan you, she can get you to different services, and she has been a key part of supporting that community in the Manhattan area."

Miller also worked to implement after-school clubs for students with autism, particularly at the middle and high school levels, to help them not only work on their social skills, but to make friends.

"It's a terrible thing to not have friends," she said.

"And our kids on the spectrum don't know how to make it happen, but when they do, you should see them when they're together like birds of a feather. Oh my gosh, you can't stop them from chatting, and they support each other.

"Some of those friendships that start in middle and high school are still continuing now that the kids have left school," she added. "It gives me pleasure and it gives their parents enormous relief, because they thought their child might never have a friend."

To be sure, Miller said working with children with autism requires more intensive work, and the situation can often feel hopeless to parents who feel terrified that they might not be able to adequately support their children.

Being a parent is hard enough, Miller said, especially when children are young, but she's focused on being a source of encouragement or someone who will listen when parents get overwhelmed. She gave an example of a desperate mother of a child who has no language skills or toilet training but might be screaming and tantruming, while her friends' children of the same age already have all of those skills.

"Here's a mother feeling very desperate, thinking it's her fault perhaps," Miller said. "Maybe I can reassure them that this is autism, and I can teach them all of these things, and guess what? There is hope, and I have seen dramatic improvements and students being very different from what the parents started with."

Working with children with autism is a lot like working with someone from a different culture, Miller said. They might not understand the language or norms or customs, but you could hardly fault them for it.

Instead, you have to continually work at communicating with them and helping them understand what you're trying to say, even if it takes multiple attempts. Miller said human beings have a social sense that children with autism often lack, but with enough effort, they can usually pick up a new skill or knowledge.

In retirement, Miller said she plans to spend more time with her husband Forrest, her three children and four grandchildren. She might also try to catch up on some household work, but she imagines she'll keep in touch with the many families she's met over the years.

And at the end of her career, it's the successes Miller has been able to share with families that will stick with her.

"Whether it be in toilet training, or they were willing to cross the street by themselves now, or they've got their driver's license now, and they're going to get a job -- all of these successes have given me enormous pleasure, and I've always thought my job has been a huge blessing and gift to me," she said.

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