A COVID Christmas? Experts suggest ways for kids, families to cope this holiday season

Nov. 23--The holiday season often includes sitting with extended family around the Thanksgiving table, eating breakfast with Santa or joining in song at Christmas Eve service.

After a year like no other, the holidays will also be anything but normal for many families in Northeast Pennsylvania.

But, where some people see loss, local mental health experts say to look for opportunities.

"It's definitely going to be unlike anything any of us have experienced," said William Chase, Psy.D., a Clarks Summit psychologist and associate professor of psychology and director of the counseling center at Keystone College. "There is still room for celebration even when the world is in a messy place."

Area mental health providers have seen parents -- already stressed about the pandemic, including job security or managing their children's virtual schooling -- worried about losing holiday traditions or creating Christmas magic for their children.

After a year of pandemic-related losses, such as a normal school year, vacations, sports seasons or playdates with friends, parents worry the holidays will be another thing canceled to the coronavirus. Children worry if Santa could catch COVID-19 or whether their Elf on the Shelf must quarantine.

"It's normal to feel sad or anxious," said David Palmiter, Ph.D., a Marywood University professor who has a private counseling practice. "We all have to cut ourselves slack for these shared experiences we're having."

Last week, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention urged Americans not to travel for Thanksgiving and not to spend the holiday with people from outside their household. Meanwhile, Pennsylvania strengthened travel restrictions and mask requirements. As coronavirus cases surge locally and nationally, the guidelines served as another reality check in an unprecedented year.

Palmiter suggests families have open conversations about the loss of holiday plans or traditions. By letting children experience that sense of grief or disappointment, they can learn a strong lesson on empathy and loss. The conversation can then turn to the chance to create new rituals, he said.

It's hard for children to think they may not see grandparents or other relatives for Thanksgiving or Christmas, said Teresa M. Conte, Ph.D., a pediatric nurse practitioner and director of the undergraduate nursing program at the University of Scranton.

"It's OK to say 'mom is disappointed too,'" she said. "It's something you have to grieve. ... But, new doesn't mean bad. Different doesn't have to mean not as fun."

Parents want things to be normal, but that's the mistake, Chase said.

"Things aren't the way they always are, but it's going to be OK," he said. "It's complicated. It's undiscovered territory for us."

Joseph Cice, Ph.D., a Lackawanna College instructor of psychology and human services, told his students that instead of thinking of what will be missed this season, think of creative ways to make the holiday special.

Technology can help connect families and even gives people the ability to interact with family they do not usually see during the holidays, he said.

This year can also serve as a way to celebrate the time with your immediate family, the experts said.

"We've been forced to be together for months now," Chase said. "Yes, we can struggle together, but we can celebrate together too."

Contact the writer: shofius@timesshamrock.com; 570-348-9133; @hofiushallTT on Twitter.

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